A reprimand

I was born as a Christian. It was one of the biggest gift, because I feel like I was living in it without any compulsion. I used to hate it when I had to share my Sunday morning between movies and church, although the church has always been the winner. Then it became a habit, and at one point I felt like it was a must. Now, my very own awareness asked me to it. Sunday is not complete without those church services. Cliche? 

On my journey in my Christianity life, there were ups and downs. There were days, when I felt like He is always listening, providing, and answering. But sometimes, things did not go the way you wanted to be. It was not easy to keep in faith when the world turned you down. In those days, I blamed God, and those were not my best days. Sometimes I walked away too far, and as a caring Father, a reprimand was given.

It was 2 days ago, I was sleeping, woke up and saw the clock showed 5 am. Too early to start the day, I was intended to go back to sleep. I think I was half asleep when I heard a noisy voice. Scary voice of cracking road, when the earth started to fall apart. The world was ending, and the rapture began.

It was scary to watch those people around me were lifted to the sky. Well, not everyone. Some of us were upraised. I was afraid that I won't be one of those chosen people. Those people who did goodness in their life, the good people. And then, I was lifted. Well, half lifted.

The scene was changed, I was floating, surrounded by clouds and blue sky. I heard a voice, and I knew it was Him. It was soft and firm, and a question stabbed me,

"what have you been doing recently?"

A simple yet sharp, the reprimand was making me cry. Yes, I don't know what I have been doing. I skipped youth services, I cut my night prayer, I.., just started to stop in Him.

But He noticed my absence, reckoned to take care about it, and kept me close to Him.

I was proud, I am proud, and will always be proud, having a God who takes care His every single child, gives reprimand, and accepts us when we're about to come back.

He cares.

Forever is not a cliche

Forever is a cliche word. I know that.
We really can neither promise about forever nor believe about it. Those things are only living in fairytale. I don't believe those such things, not until yesterday.
So yesterday I went to my friday youth service, like I always do. I've been there for a year, and that community is like a little family for me. It was a usual praise and worship songs, until a song was played, and brought the memories back from years ago.

Shout to the lord, all the earth let us sing.
Power and majesty, praise to the king.
Mountains bow down, and the seas will roar, 
At the sound of your name.
I sing for joy at the work of your hands, 
Forever I'll love you, 
Forever I'll stand.
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You
A very beautiful song from my sunday school. At that time I was asked to be a part of Christmas play and I said yes. It was a part when we had to dance to welcome Jesus in the barn. And we dance with this song. We rehearsed a lot. To be a part of it was an honour for a seven years old me. That's why the song means a lot to me.

Forever I love You, forever I stand. No kidding, it is true. I'm dancing with it when I was seven, and I'm living in it now, in my twenty. I feel like I could find forever in Him. I've been loving Him since I was born, and surely it will always be. He was The One who stays, through ups and downs, laughs and tears. He is my forever.

I love You, forever, my Jesus.